Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Here I come

From my childhood everyone believed that I was different ,I think different, I act different and everything I do . But in childhood except my mischievous activities there is not much to differentiate or I can say I was just different in bad activities.
But somehow during the time of admission in Engineering college, I truly made my family feel bad as I got a very poor rank in every exam i gave, we know how these relatives criticize(I always think why can’t they mind their own business, if there is some good news we will let them know on our own , else please understand)

So, I thought lets study, I really tried hard but it's true that the misgiving of the past of 18 years can’t be erased in a single day, so I suffered a lot in 1 year both in form of ragging and education . I wasn’t able to stand anywhere in class but somehow I gained respect of my room mates and teachers for my seriousness and I can tell you that really felt great.

2nd year of my college was the real turning point I became more frank, I made a group and start representing my college and my class at various events and people somehow start recognizing me and one interesting fact that when you do succeed in something, your confidence grows on it’s own and it starts to show in every field so I also started having more contacts with girls which i was never able to accomplish in my school days.
3rd and 4th year those were the years of struggle as companies started coming but no one was willing to take me. But, I was not really discouraged as I had thought of getting into best of B-school and let’s compensate my parents grieving and mine also of not scoring at time of engineering.
I did score a great percentile when compared in my college and Agra but overall I failed as I was not able to get through any good B-school and it followed with the worst two months of my life.
I started fighting Dad and that also at a time when he was not having sound financial condition. But as every father does, he surrendered to my wishes and admitted to CL (career Launcher), Delhi. But, Delhi really get too hot and everything there was not conducive for my study and I didn’t scored greatly in CL, but this time I can’t complain also because otherwise I won’t be left with any other option except to study at home. So I kept working, when one day I heard about a government college(D.C.E.) starting a M.B.A. and I just filled the form and got the admission.
It was not as what I expected as it was its first batch and secondly the outlook of teachers and other people towards government colleges. But here’s come my die hard attitude and faith in myself starts acting and I started looking at its positive side and my punch line “That if a person wants than he can bring water out from desert, then why can’t I change my future” works everywhere.
The things I used to feel in my childhood i.e. sitting with big people, talking about big words and big issues, going to good places and many others start coming true.
I started getting calls from the conference where they select just 25 students from all over the country or 50 students from all over the country. I found out my own internship which was also paying me which was rare in my college. It really fells great to be honored to be sitting among these great people.
But here’s a catch that still I never got any job, I am still unemployed. Whenever this issue came up in college I always used to say that may be god is signaling me to became an entrepreneur but when today I think about it I say Is it ?
And if it is, do I have the real courage to walk on this path. I do have the courage but then I shouldn’t think about anything else like about team, the suffering of my parents if I fail, what about my whole knowledge which I gained till yet (sometimes it feels like I am making excuses to run from becoming an entrepreneur) because a person who has to succeed don’t think about any other thing other than a single path which he has to follow.
I am confused (like always) and would keep on getting better and better at getting confused with time but some time before I came across an article which stated that highly successful people do remain disturbed and confused because they always believe that there are many things to work for and this always keeps them motivated and confused.
So, I am confused and somehow motivated also to become great but would I? I know you all as friends and family would definitely support me, but should I really become an entrepreneur. If yes, then sometimes I also dream of becoming a saint and sitting under a banyan tree in forest what about it and also I sometimes I am also sitting in Las Vegas surrounded by lots of Beautiful girls.
Should everything we dream should really get accomplished and we should work towards it. I am confused, I know till know many of you would be saying we know that tell other thing.
Ok, so had it ever happened with you, is there anyone out there confused and motivated like me. If yes do meet this other confused soul. May be you can give me some advice… Waiting to get my right Call .

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